The Shut Down

I've contemplated from time to time ending this blog and all the others. They aren't generating enough comments, income or readers, and I feel like my time is best spent elsewhere. I have two other manuscript ideas that I want to pursue, and little time to do so. So I wonder ... should I end this thing?

Friends and family have misunderstood some of the posts. Feelings were hurt. Anger was raised. Every time I mention Amateur Porn Star Killer I get an e-mail blasting me for it. I have to wonder if it's worth it. It's a lot of work, a lot of stress, and I don't have the time or energy for either.

On the plus side, it is a great release and it keeps my name out there in one form or another.

It's an idea for now. I'll revisit it in a few days or so. Until then ...


Nikki said...

I love this blog. It's the second thing I check in the morning, after my email. I look forward to new posts, I like reading your thoughts. It's makes you seem a little less far away.

As for people being hurt, I was hurt once or twice, but we talked about it and all is good. It's a chance to communicate, to clear up misunderstandings. I would think your true friends would talk to you about it rather than freak out or make assumptions that may not be true. That would alleviate so much of the issues with people being hurt or angry.

From a purely selfish standpoint, I hope you continue. However, if it is causing you stress, then it's not worth it for you to continue. Do what you need to do. My feelings on blogging are this- if it makes me happy, I'll do it. If it starts to feel like an obligation that brings me nothing in return, I'll quit. As it is, I blog sporadically at best anyway.

Anonymous said...

Don't go.

I would miss the random "fuck with me and I'll cut you" posts. I like searching for them with each new post you put up.

It's like my version of "Where's Waldo?"

Like Nikki, I've been hurt on occasion (13 times), but then you held me and told me that I brought it all on myself.


Deleted said...

you end yours, i'm ending mine. no pressure. honestly. the two concepts are connected only in this schizoid head of mine. i'd be okay quitting blogging. truth be told, i think the electronic age is starting to do me in.
you're kind of my muse in a weird sort of way. you write very bodly and personally and i appreciate that. not very many men are brave enough to put their ideas out there.
i've started keeping my physical journal again because there are things i don't want public...at least not yet. reading your personal thoughts compels me to visit my own and commit some of them to paper which is good for me.
if you decide to scrap blogland, i hope you will consider continuing to write your personal stuff down--even if you choose not to share.
if it's become more stressful than therapeutic, let it go. but only let it go here. keep writing. somewhere.

-Doug Brunell "America's Favorite Son" said...

Jesus, three comments from three people whose opinion means something to me. (There are others, but they haven't posted a comment yet. Slackers.)

It's an idea, but like all ideas, I have to weigh it out. The therapeutic aspect is undeniable.

If I ever stop writing, I start killing. Pretty simple. I don't think there's any doubt about that. GG Allin said if he didn't have his music, he would kill. I understand that. I respect that. This is my way of dealing with humanity in a civil, lawful way.

If only Huberty had a blog ...

Also, oddly enough. I do this for my daughter. One day I'll be dead, and she'll (hopefully) be able to read this. She won't always like it, but she'll know I loved her more than life itself. She'll see the world through my eyes in a way I never got to see it through my father's eyes. I knew enough about how he thought of things, but it never got very deep. Some of what I've written may bother her, embarrass her, make her wince. But she will know these are my feelings, my thoughts, my words, and she will know she was loved beyond compare. It will be a lasting mark (hopefully) on a society I hate. And she will understand why.

And now we dine ...

Trevlyn said...

I am betting that plenty of people have mentioned this to you, but what about putting together what you've posted here into a manuscript? There are plenty of books out there like that. Besides the fact that it is continually well written, it is real and raw and fucking great and that is not seen that often in print these days. That's one excuse I can come up with for the blog to stay and make it worth your time. Kevin Smith did it, why not Doug?

Also, I just like to have continual access to your writing because you are, without a doubt, one of my favorite writers and I don't know what I would do if I couldn't read your work. Perhaps I'll just occasionally steal a manuscript, photocopy it, return it, read the manuscript and then burn it so it can't be stolen.

But I agree with Nikki. If you don't love it, leave it

-Doug Brunell "America's Favorite Son" said...

I'm staying ... for now. Just still wonder if it is worth it. Thanks for the kind words, Trevor. Now go make some art!

I forgot said...

don't ditch the blog, doug. It's a nice way for me to see how you're doing, and since i've always been too lazy to write or call, i like it. plus, i think it's a good way to keep the exteporaneous flow going, and keep your name out there. lots of stuff worth doing is a pain in the ass. maybe?