Pigs in Zen

Black Friday.  Buy Nothing Day.  Two opposite ends of the spectrum.  Both are addressing the same thing: Americans and their unending consumption. 

If you watch the news around Thanksgiving you can be guaranteed of two things.  You will see a story about feeding the homeless and you will see one about shoppers camping out at stores to grab those "door buster" deals. 

Our people have a problem, and all medias keep it going.

I understand we live in a capitalist society and we need the green to keep feeding the machine.  I get that.  I also understand that for many, capitalism works.  I'm not adverse to making money and buying stuff ... even stuff I don't need.  I'm adverse to mindless, orgiastic spending and consumption.  Apparently, much of the rest of the world doesn't have any such problems. 

When 9/11 happened, Baby Bush told us to do our part to help America by continuing to shop.

The Super Bowl has more to do with how much is spent on ads and how many people watch them now than it does on what teams are playing.

Thanksgiving is less about giving thanks and more about developing shopping strategies. 

A Wal Mart employee was trampled to death in a throng of Black Friday shoppers.  The horde did not seem to care. 

People weren't just camping out at stores overnight.  A group of ten was outside a Best Buy, I believe, for over a week, taking shifts.  They were rewarded for their stupidity with new iPads.  When you see homeless people sleeping on the sidewalk, you yell, "Get a job!"  When you see some white women doing it, you give them iPads.

Buy Nothing Day was developed to make people think about their mindless spending, which is reinforced by Black Friday.  There is also a movement all about shopping at small businesses.  A frenzy is a frenzy, however, and it doesn't really matter where you do it.

I know people who love the insanity of Black Friday.  Oddly enough, and many are going to find this tasteless, but I will stick by it, their unrestrained glee is akin to a group of frat boys finding a girl passed out in the corner.  It is all about savagery and nothing of finesse comes out of it.  These Black Friday lunatics have all kinds of good intentions and military-like battle plans, but as soon as those doors open, the mouths froth and the eyes get glazed over with the notions of bargains.  They are pawing merchandise, pushing others out of the way ... all so that they can have their way with the goods.  After all, a sweater at half off is really fucking important.

I buy things.  I tend to only buy what I want and need.  I don't go into the spirit of celebration when it comes to consumerism.  I tend to agree with Fugazi that "merchandise keeps us in line."  The urge to consume goods is far greater in many Americans than the urge to do something truly important. 

And let's face it, if terrorists really wanted to strike fear, they wouldn't hit the Super Bowl, they'd hit a mall on Black Friday.  That would be all it takes to keep a majority of people thinking twice about their spending habits, though I'm sure the president would tell us to keep spending ... even if it endangered our lives. 

Buy Nothing Day (or the National Day of Mourning).  It's an idea well worth looking into.  Even if you can't follow it, at least think about it.  Unless, of course, you're too busy trampling people to death.


Keyword Fun!

Regular readers know the drill.  Once a month or so I find all the strange keywords that bring people to my blog.  It's always fun ... and often disturbing.  This month is no different.

First up is "giants fan."  Yes, the Giants won the World (really North America) Series, and yes I wrote about the team's fans.  Anyone coming here thinking I would write something positive, though, had a bit of a surprise.

"Beat Wear Speedfreak" has either returned or made its first appearance.  I don't know what it says about me that I can't remember if this came around before, but it can't bode well for what I write.

Disturbing best described the next search: "cm nail stripers."  I imagine this is some kind of weird hardware tool, but since most of the people that end up on my blog come here looking for porn, I can't help but wonder.

"coalinga dirt causes sickness" and "coffee symbolism" were next on the list.  I haven't the foggiest idea of what "coalinga dirt" is, but I do find it odd that when it comes to "coffee symbolism" they are closely related in the searches.

Another weird one is "creepy body."  Who the hell would enter that into a search engine?  Did they find what they were looking for?

Any of you familiar with Easy Rider magazine or the movie?  Both are about motorcycles and their riders.  Biker culture, man.  Can you dig?  Well, someone very interested in "easy rider mouth masturbator" came a knockin'.  (No pun intended.)  Frankly, I don't want to know what an easy rider mouth masturbater is.

The next search term is direct and to the point.  "Dripping cunt."  I wonder what post that led the searcher to?

"Extreme devil" seemed to be popular, too.  As if the devil isn't extreme enough, we need an even more devilish one.  Those kids and their Mountain Dew.

The next two searches go hand in hand.  "is ok to use the swastika in art?" and "how does the swastika affect people."  If you have to ask if it is okay to use it, you aren't an artist.  As to how it affects people, I think that's pretty well documented.  Just ask six million Jews.  Oh, wait.  You can't.  That answer your question? 

Following that there was "swastika bastardized." 

"japanese pierced tongue."  Need I say more?

Then there is the "philippine massacre autopsy."  Wouldn't that be "autopsies"?  Perhaps that is the "creepy body" guy.

"sexy naget image" appeared.  "Naget" is not a term I understand.  Last time I did this, it was mentioned, too, I believe.  Is "naget" some new sex thing I don't know about or care to know about, like docking or Betty White body rolls?  What the fuck is a "naget"?

Thinking I do public service announcements, someone came searching for "why we need blood donors."  If this keyword search fun stuff is any indicator, I don't want the blood from most people.  They're weird and creepy, which brings us to our last one.

This search phrase brought a chill to my spine for some reason.  It's not the worst thing I've read.  It's not related to sex or anything like that.  The image it conjurers up, however, left me inspired and creeped out.  It was "the dark prison massacre."

At least it had nothing to do with "nagets" or swastikas, but still ... weird.


Invasion of the Party Snatchers

Bush has a book out.  The Tea Party fouled up the election in some pretty horrendous ways.  Jobs are still a thing of the past for many people, and stores seem to think moving Black Friday up a few weeks will keep them from drowning.

If you were cynical, you'd almost have to think the country was going under faster than any one of those places in Africa only actors seem to have heard of.

If you were an optimist, you'd say this is the wake up call to Americans to stop voting against their interests.

If, however, you see yourself as a realist, you'd have to say that this is what you get when you have the world's most powerful country stocked with voters who don't care about facts, who stick to their religion when convenient, and where xenophobia isn't only considered healthy but now called a "lifestyle choice."  Put into more simple terms, the chickens have come home to roost.

Capitalism, religion and fear do not make an empire great.  In fact, they make it fail.  We are witnessing full-bore the product of our breeding, and it's a monster-child that makes many of us choke back our own bile.  Is there a chance to turn things around?  Of course there is.  This isn't nature.  This is man-made.  Will we have the fortitude to do it?  Based on how I've seen the a large segment of the population act in times like this, I doubt it.  A large-scale crisis like 9/11 probably wouldn't change anything, either.  It's going to take real pain, real sacrifice, and eyes that are wide open to reality to change this ship's course.

Most telling is that you have Obama in the White House.  He's an unwavering capitalist through and through (as every president in my lifetime has been).  However, he has been successfully painted ("successfully" because people believe it) as a socialist, a communist, a Muslim, a fascist and has had his citizenship challenged.  Normally those fringe groups are on the outside looking in.  This time they voted, and they were rewarded like the seals at the water show (or so they think).  What do you think is going to happen when someone rises to really unite these blinder-wearing mouth-breathers?

We'll see in 2012.  Maybe it really is the end.


Bum Rush the Show

Tonight, after my darling princess falls fast asleep, I will turn back to the manuscript. I've been working on it like a madman since Friday in an attempt to push it past where I was when I lost it.  I keep coming up on new tangents, however, and that is slowing things down.  So is the fact that I am often exhausted by the time I get to work on it.  (I was actually going to be working on it now instead of doing this post, but what I want to write will take more time than I am alloted this morning.)  I had joked with Kiddo about going to a writer's retreat.  I wouldn't do it it because I have too many other things going on and it sounds pretentious, but I can understand its appeal.

The scene I'm working on tonight is one that existed in the version that became corrupted.  It's a good scene involving people watching that becomes downright uncomfortable for the narrator.  It does a lot to establish two of the main characters, too.  It is not graphic scene (other than in language or ideas), at least not the way it originally panned out (who knows about now), but it is squirm-inducing nonetheless.  I had fun writing it the first time.  I don't know what it will be like this time around.  The first draft of it had some great lines that I won't reproduce here because they fit the flow just right.  Now the entire flow has been changed by having to restart the damn thing, so the lines would sound forced.  How it will turn out now is anyone's guess, but if this scene doesn't work, nothing beyond it will work, either, and I may as well scrap the damn thing and start the manuscript on entertainment I've been mulling over for some time.

Enjoy the day.


New Jersey and Irony -- Perfect Together

You may have caught this on the news.  Recently, what is thought to be the world's largest pie fight (custard, of course) was staged in New Jersey.  I watched the report on CNN Headline News.  It was presented without a hint of irony.  Why was it ironic?

The pie fight was staged as a benefit to help out a Trenton-area soup kitchen.  In that sense it was beneficial.  $10,000 was raised.  I just wondered why nobody questioned the idea of wasting food in order to help raise money for a soup kitchen.  It just seems wrong.

Granted, the pie fight raised a lot of money, most likely more than any poorly organized car wash could (though when you got teen girls standing by the side of the street advertising a car wash you usually get customers).  It comes across, however, as a really strange decision.  Couldn't the soup kitchen use those pies?  I'm fairly sure poor people like pie, too.  Maybe I'm wrong. 

The pie fight consisted of 400 students and staff from Lawrenceville School.  I  wonder what kind of lessons they are teaching these kids there.  Bombing countries in a quest for peace?  Suspending civil liberties in order to ensure our freedoms?  People on Medicare voting for Tea Party candidates?  Fucking for virginity?  I even read a few articles on this, and not a single one mentioned the irony.  I'm sure one is out there, but I missed it, much like these kids missed the message, too.

Good job, kids.  I can't help but ponder what you learned.


My Gun, Your Mouth -- A Love Affair to Remember

I have already been invited to a Super Bowl party.  I rarely watch this thing even when it's one of the few teams I enjoy.  The guy who invited me seemed disappointed when I said I would probably pass.  Can't imagine how that came as a shock, but so be it.

Woke up this morning and it was pouring out.  Beautiful sound.  The sky seems to be clearing up, which is depressing in its own right, but laying in bed and hearing the sound of rain hitting the roof and deck made me appreciate the fact that I don't live on a highway or out in some desert. 

I worked on the manuscript a lot last night.  Rebuilding it after the file corruption has not been fun.  In fact, it has been downright miserable, as I can't really remember if I had written some of these scenes before.  I now have six back up copies because the OCD has come out in full force.  After working on that I read Necronomicon 5: The Journal of Horror and Erotic Cinema.  I finished up the essay on John Carpenter and his influences and then started up on the zombie resurgence, which I'm not thrilled with.  Fascinating reading, however.  Great theories presented, and lots of new ways to look at some films.  Still don't appreciate the vomit pile of remakes, however.

Got a rather odd e-mail asking if I'd like to do some script clean-up on dialogue.  Very tempted to say "yes" to this one.  Again had to let him know if I did so I wouldn't be able to review it as it would be a conflict of interest.  He may or may not like that.  Either way, still flattered.   Dialogue says everything about the character.

Don't know if any of you saw the supposed missile launch off the CA coast (there are those who think it is the contrail of a plane seen at an odd angle, and others who disagree), but it comes on the tail of an event on 10/27/10 that got a bit of coverage.  The US lost control of 50 ICBMs.  Nuclear.  We've never lost control of that many before.  Apparently we weren't in any danger.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  It's strange timing to say the least.  I also noticed that while the military was quick to say they don't know what launched off the coast, they also didn't rush out to investigate it (at least not that I saw).  Comforting.  The government hasn't said if any missiles went missing (I highly doubt the government would report this), but if you had your hands on a bunch of them would you do a test launch, or would you just hope for the best and fire one into the heart of Los Angeles?

George Bush is on the Today show.  He is pushing his book.  Decision Points.  He does talk about being drunk at a dinner party with his parents in it.  He does not appear drunk on the Today show.  I can't say for sure, though.  He does appear happy.  You've seen that Alfred E. Newman grin before.  He's got it in full force.  I think he wants to mount Ann Curry.  Well get in line, Bub.  Who doesn't?  I won't get to see what I believe will be an utterly fascinating and in-depth interview at the hands of NBC's competent morning hucksters, and I can't see wasting DVR space.  I would love to hear his tales of hitting on women when he's drunk, though.  

Happy day.


Exploitation or Fetishization?

If you see him coming through the door you are screwed.
I'm sure you've seen it or at least know of it.  To Catch a Predator, part of the Dateline family with Chris Hansen as your host into a world of pedophiles and poor excuses.  On the surface it seems harmless enough.  Who can argue with pedophiles getting busted?  Once you start to think about it, however, things get ... sticky.

For those who don't know, the series of shows is based on a simple idea: people use the Internet to set up sexual meetings with children.  Hansen, with the help of local police and Perverted-Justice (a group that has decoys posing as children in chat rooms who engage in sexual chats with adults and set up meetings) uses the standard uncover tactics in order to catch (mostly) males who come to a house to have sex with a "child."  The pedophiles offer crazy excuses as to why they came to have sex with the "child," and then they are arrested.  You can click here to see an example.

Pedophile arrested and taken off the streets.  A decoy who is left safe.  Hansen gets ratings.  Everyone wins, right?

Not really.

A catch for any age group?  Nope.
While few would argue that arresting pedophiles is a bad thing, if you watch these specials you quickly realize that they are just as sleazy and exploitive as the clueless pedophiles they vow to bring to justice.

Each special is like a laundry list of perversions, complete with pixelated photographs of (often) male genitalia.  Transcripts of Internet chats between an adult male (usually) and a thirteen-year-old (or so) girl are read aloud with voice actors (the girl is usually portrayed as giggley) with the words typed out on screen.  When the chat is too graphic, words are censored, but you still get the gist of it all.  When the pedophiles are confronted by Hansen, he goes through the transcripts again.  A typical conversation may go something like, "You said you want to perform oral sex on her, and would like her to blank your blank.  And you thought she was thirteen."  Throughout the entire show, the fact that the girl is underage is constantly juxtaposed with this highly sexual discussion.  I imagine the sexual talk is described in such detail and the photos shown in order to demonstrate how sleazy these men are, but it comes across as nothing less than another exploitation of "children."

Yes, I'm wearing a thong.  No, I'm not 13.
What kind of underwear are you wearing?  I want to fondle your breasts.  Model your thong for me?  What is your bra size?  This came from one conversation.  None of it was necessary to let audiences know that the man is a pervert.  He's coming to meet a girl he believes to be thirteen for sex.  How much more evidence do you need?  Hansen and company are appealing to the closet pedophile they believe resides in us all.  It reminds one of all the lurid coverage that came with the JonBenet Ramsey case.  (Remember the bruises and the unknown DNA in her panties?)

A pixelated mess shows an active webcam shot.  You can't see anything.  Hansen lets viewers know they are looking at a live webcam shot of the pedophile masturbating that he transmitted to a girl he believed was 11.

A pedophile is identified by his screenname "Rick's Talented Tongue."  Hansen reads transcripts from his chat.  "Can I tease and please your blank with my tongue?"  His penis picture (pixelated to protect viewers) is shown again.

If you were a pedophile without an Internet connection, Hansen's undercover projects would provide you with plenty of material to masturbate to.

It's been argued that Perverted-Justice and To Catch a Predator are really nothing more than harassment and entrapment.  I'm not going into any arguments on that here as to do that raises debate about everything from our justice system to age of consent laws.  What I hoped to show with this was that these specials are not without their own pedophilia taint.  They go above and beyond what they have to show and describe in order to titillate and appeal to deviant sexual interests in children.  It's yet another example of the media saying, "Look how bad this is as we use the exact same mindset to sell our show."  I have no compassion for pedophiles, but I also have no compassion for "reporters" who pretend to be above that while sexualizing all this behavior in order to secure ratings.

Only a decoy would agree to admit to meet a guy with the name "Ice Truck Killer."
I'm sure Hansen and NBC's intentions are good, but I'm also sure the use of the imagery and the reading of transcripts is done in order to keep people watching.

Before the Internet, the United States government was perhaps the biggest distributor of child pornography in an attempt to capture pedophiles.  Project Looking Glass (you can look it up if so inclined) was just one example of the government (such as the U.S. postal service) sending out child pornography in order to arrest pedophiles.  Very few people spoke out against this because 1)hardly anyone knew of it, and 2)who would speak out against catching pedophiles?  The government doesn't have to do such things anymore, as the Internet, which is easily monitored, does all its work for it.  About twice a year you'll hear of a major sex ring being broken up, a ring that distributes some sort of child pornography to various pedophiles and the like.  Hansen's show is a throwback to the era of Project Looking Glass, only this exploitive peep show/sting operation is presented as entertainment for the world to see.  (And like Project Looking Glass, suicide is an outcome of the investigation.)

When hounded by Hansen, the only way out is arrest or a bullet to the head.
From what I can gather, no new episodes of these specials have aired in about three years ... but channels like MSNBC run the old episodes (often several back to back) on a regular basis.  It's like a kiddie porn marathon.

Yes, Hansen has a point that these "sexual predators" are sick, but when you turn the very act you supposedly abhor into a fetish, you are just as guilty ... if not moreso.  Especially when you do it for ratings.


Woke Up With Sunshine in my Heart and Rainbows in my Eyes

Shower.  Hot.  Refreshing.  On the "massage" mode.  Turntable, which is slowly dying, spinning the Dwarves.  Turned up loud enough to hear over the machine gun fire of water.

Coffee.  Two cups.  Black.  Hot.  Refreshing. 

Bad dream I had slowly fading from my mind.  Tried to put it into perspective.  Succeeded.  Never did acid.  Very active imagination, though.

E-mails.  Didn't want to work on the manuscript, as I would stay home all day and write.  At a pivotal point.  Could this be why I'm having these terrible dreams?

Could also stay home and finish Necronomicon Book 5: The Journal of Horror and Erotic Cinema.  I would take it to work, but I fear the cover would offend someone.  I could turn it over, but whenever I bring a book people like to see what I'm reading.  I'm a large proponent of "if it offends thee, don't look," but I know other people go by the "curiosity killed the cat" method of life and then get pissed when they get exposed to some mental pathogen intent on destroying their worldview.  So the book stays at home.  Great stuff on xenophobia, the Hostel franchise and the role of "becoming" (especially amongst females) in horror cinema, tracing back to the forgotten Hammer gem Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde. Makes the heart weep.

Getting the portfolio polished.  Putting out some query letters. Hope springs eternal, or some such nonsense. 

Watched some Extras last night and was reminded why the American version of The Office is still just a pale imitation of what it sprang from.  Sure, it has come into its own, but it still isn't as satisfying or even successful as its British father.  What that show did in such a small span of time is nothing short of amazing.  It went out at the right moment, and if anyone thinks differently they would have a hard time proving it to me. 

Enjoy the day.


The New America (aka Same as it Ever Was)

The white guy from Mission Linen said it best.  He was glad the election turned out the way it did so "America could get back to its good values."  I, however, wasn't sure what values he was referring to.  The key word wasn't "good."  It was "back."

How far back did he want to go?  Back to the '90s?  The '80s?  The '60s?  1947?  Pre-WWII?  1841?  1840?  1776?  How far did he want to roll back the clock?  Where did America "lose" its way?  Typically, when people are saying things like the Mission Linen guy did, it is when America elected a black president.  Some have an even bigger grasp of history and can remember back "decades ago" when Clinton was in the White House, and will use that as the point to where America took a turn to the radical Left (though Clinton was many things, a Leftist is not one of them).

I, too, would love a return to some good ol' American values.  I want to go back to a time when corporations weren't treated as people.  When robber barons had yet to exist.  When stock brokers dove out their windows.  When colonists rebelled against attacks on civil liberties.  When rugged invidualism was more than just an empty value.  A time before the military-industrial complex.  A time when the idea of corporate welfare was laughed at instead of worshipped.  A time when the environment was free of smog.

I think that Mission Linen guy wants the same things as me.  I just don't get why he was so happy about how the election came out.  Oh, I get it now.  He thinks those guys elected into office are going to do that.  I think the joke's on him.


2010: The Republicans Strike Back

Watching the election returns on NBC gives me a much clearer picture of what makes up the Tea Party.  It is the equivalent of a mentally retarded twelve-year-old boy who is holding a handgun and the safety is off.  Someone, be it an innocent bystander or the child himself, is going to get hurt.

Jerry Brown looks like he's winning.  Proposition 19 (free pot for everyone) looks like it's failing.  Republicans look like they are taking power, which means all the country's problems will be fixed in a month or so ... about 20 days more than anyone gave Obama to fix the mess he inherited.  All you unemployed should be back to work pronto.

This election has been a mixed bag of insanity, depression and befuddlement.  Those wide-eyed, quivering lipped liberals who supported Obama en masse seemingly decided to catch the early show of Paranormal Activity 2 instead of voting.  Perhaps they felt so left down by what has been a decidedly lackluster program.  Perhaps they figured Arizona would never ban state affirmative action programs.  Whose got egg on their faces now?

Sarah Palin is sending Twitter messages to Obama.  Well, I'm sure they're directed at him, but whether or not he's reading them is beyond me.  Obviously, the Tea Party parrots aren't reading them because the Internet was developed with taxpayer money and they don't support things like that.  It reeks of socialism or communism or reverse racism or some such shit.

2012, besides being the absolute end of the world so says science, is going to be fascinating.  My prediction: Based on the absolute ignorance of those who have been elected tonight, coupled with the drooling Tea Party parrots, I can only say that the economy will not get better, rights will continue to erode, and religious fundamentalism (both Christian and Islamic) will rear its misshapen head in ways we never thought we'd see.  Why?  Because now people think they have a mandate and Obama never took advantage of the one he did actually have.

Then again, I'm a fuckin' anarchist. They can all rot.


Election Erections

Tomorrow is election day.  You may have heard about it.  You may have seen the ads on television, received robo calls, or been gifted with junk mail.  If you're in California, you may have noticed a peculiar face gracing many of these ads.

Meg Whitman.  Meggy, to her friends.  The former CEO of eBay.  Her official campaign slogan is "Money talks.  Bullshit walks."  She is running for governor of California.  If Arnold can do it ...

Meg's main and really only competition is Jerry Brown.  Brown, as many long-time Californians know, has had a love/hate affair with this state going back decades.  The Dead Kennedys lampooned him.  Bill Clinton took him to task.  He tasted the sweet, sweet juices of Linda Ronstadt.

When it comes down to the nitty gritty, California's choices come down to a guy who screwed a popular singer, or a woman who made her fortune on people selling broken Hummels.  If history is any indication, Brown may have this one in the bag.

California loves a character.  Be it the kindly uncle going senile Reagan.  The Terminator.  Moonbeam (voted into office twice).  The KKK supported Friend Richardson.  We've voted in our share of yawn inducing stiffs, too.  Most recently that would be Gray Davis, whose very name invokes notions of fog and the missionary position ... with no eye contact.

Meg is hard to warm up to that even women voters have a hard time supporting her.  (Do you even hear anything about Tea Parrots supporting her?) Perhaps its her tired, over-achiever look, or just the fact that she seems built like a linebacker.  Either way, women have been noticeably quiet on this race, which leads saner minds to believe that saner minds are going with Jerry.  Meg comes across to females as the female boss who will do anything to keep her power, while Jerry comes across as a harmless guy whose most heinous crime would be to shoot a sneaky glance at your breasts when he thinks you aren't looking.

In the end, the issues don't matter much to the majority of California's voters.  If they did, Meg would've never been ahead in the polls, as very little she said made any sense.  Nope, what matters to the people of the state I currently call "home" is how much comfort they get from their candidates.  As long as a candidate has enough money and doesn't come across as a modern-day Mr. Beckert, he or she should be fine.  (And I should note that by the end of Maudiences felt some sympathy for Mr. Beckert despite his pedophile/murderer status.) 

Meg is no child-killing pedophile ... at least not that I can tell.  She does, however, come across as little more than a bully in a business suit.  Californians may not take to that as well as they would to Brown, who is older than his opponent yet looks ten times more livelier.  You can picture Meg downing her pills nightly in a ritualistic fashion as she chases them with bourbon.  Brown is more of a tofu kind of guy, and as a state we love that.

The race has been tight, and probably will be tight until the last ballot is counted (however falsely).   The only given is that if Brown wins very little will change in California, and if Meg wins things will get worse.   Ideal?  Hell no.  Reality?  Very much so.    I'd rather have the staus quo in place than face a world where Meg has some sort of power over an economy which rivals that of many countries.

California is on the cusp of madness.  How it goes will depend on who is at the helm.  My prediction?  The man who, as described by the Dead Kennedys, has an aura that "smiles and never frowns."

SF is About to Explode

As the Giants stand poised to win the North American Series, baseball fans (a.k.a -- people with too much ADD to enjoy golf) are on the edge of their seats dressed in their Halloween colors and chanting things about "beards" and "freaks."  They aren't chanting about circuses or something homosexual, however.  This is the San Francisco Giants about to lay waste to the Texas Rangers.  And like most things, it is overshadowing the election, but ... it also serves as symbolic of what is going on in this country.

San Francisco.  Liberal.  Progressive. 

Texas.  Conservative.  Roll back.

If a game were to be decided by goodwill alone, the Giants would have it.  I lived near Philly when the Phillies went to the World Series many moons ago.  Philly has nothing on what is going on throughout Northern California.  You would think each individual Giants fan thinks he or she is solely responsible for the team getting as far as it did.  It's called pride, and if all these people were as hyped about the fucking election, it would send shivers of terror down the spines of politicians of all ilks.  Instead, the country can rest secure in the fact that most people take baseball far more seriously than something that can actually effect their lives.  Kind of like finding out you have some near-terminal disease, but instead focusing on what a great haircut you got.

The Texas Rangers only really have fans in Texas.  It makes sense.  After decades of telling the rest of the country not to mess with it, Texas isolated itself from the rest of the modern world.  It's symbolic Great Wall of Texas ensuring that it has fallen behind the rest of the country when it comes to things like civil rights, the death penalty, homosexuality and standards.  The average Texan is a beef-eater, wife beater and proud of it, Sir.  The average Californian loves sushi and isn't "skeeved out" by the site of men holding hands.

Frankly, I like my beef and sushi, but I'm not willing to go as far as Texans and declare ignorance my religion.

The Bush Boys showed up at the last game.  It was Halloween, and one couldn't tell if the Bushes were in costume or not.  I can only imagine that for them, watching their sacred Rangers sink deeper into defeat was a lot like watching Baby Bush's final years in the White House.  Father Bush, ever the ball-busting dick, turned to his son in the eighth inning and asked, "Seem familiar, son?"

Baby Bush could only answer with that Alfred E. Newman grin.  "What?  Me think?"

Enjoy the game, Baby.  Enjoy the game.

There is potentially one more game to go.  If SF wins, I imagine there will be a small percentage of men who ejaculate into their Lee's on the spot, and more than one woman will long for her husband to grow his hair.  Permasmiles will last only until they realize that winning really changed nothing.  It's not like it is a true World Series.  It's not like the SF city government will topple if the Giants fail to "bring it home."  In a month or less it will be like nothing happened.  At least until the distraction of the Super Bowl creeps in, with its promise of new advertising and Bud girls performing fellatio on condensation-dripping bottles.

I have nothing against baseball, really.  I'm not a Giants fan, and while I don't hate the team the way I do the Phillies, I do enjoy giving the SF team's fans a good ribbing now and then.  Quite frankly, the people I know who care about such things are proud of the team they love, and civilized about it.

It doesn't change the fact that an election is just a day away, and I can say I haven't heard but on Giants fan talk about it in any meaningful way.  Not to say they haven't -- I just haven't heard it.

Is that scary, or understandable since the Giants are about to enter the history books?  I guess it all depends on how you feel about baseball and life in general.  In the end, though, baseball is a game.  Nothing more or nothing less.  The financial fortunes won are not claimed by the fans (though the losses could be).  All those eager beavers get is a sense of pride and the right to say, "We did it."

You sure did.