Life Destroying Blues
Lamenting about life today. Told my friend I wasn't happy with the developments the past week or so. Was very unhappy with how they disrupted my life (and I can't imagine how things are going on all the other ends). She asked, "Don't you wish there was a pill you could take to make it all go away?"
I thought that was a strange thing to say because there are all kinds of pills to take to make "it all go away." That seems to be one of the main jobs of pills. Pop one and all your fears gone. Pop another and watch your worries melt away. Social anxiety? Licked. OCD? Not anymore (said five times). Restless Leg Syndrome? Not even sure that's real. Open mouth. Swallow. That's not just the demands on a fun date anymore. That's how you get through the date.
I've been big on embracing reality. I think living a fiction is a bad thing. I think it leads to dysfunction and stress. I'm also a hypocrite, because I'm just as guilty as the next guy, and right now my reality kind of sucks a bit and I want nothing more than to make it disappear.
No, this isn't getting my feelings out there. I promised to stop that, and I meant it. This is nothing more than an expression of disgust against the people who have taken some control over my life in a way I can't fight right now. Frustration is taking its toll, as the song goes.
Part of growing up, of becoming more "mature," is learning when your actions have a negative effect on others. You can take the pill and forget it, and just do whatever the hell you want. Or you can avoid that, do what is right, and suffer a bit.
Grin and bear it, right? Well, yeah. Damn right. What other choice do you have sometimes? None. I just hope that when all the pieces fall into place that life goes back to normal. You know what's even more frustrating than having no control over the things done to you?
Knowing they are right.