Welcome To Humboldt, Asshole
The new semester at Humboldt State University brings in a gaggle of new hippies. Of course, I have to see these unwashed trust fund kids wandering the streets, cheating death by walking in front of my car, and taking up my time at work.
They come to Humboldt for the reputation and the pot. Arcata is ground central for them with their multi-colored shirts and white boy dreads. It would be funny if they didn't annoy me so much.
They'll come to HSU, do the hippie thing for a few years and then start selling insurance. Such is the way of the Phish fans. Again, funny if it weren't so tragic. Sell out? Well, there's nothing really left to sell out. More like just sad.
So for a few months they'll sit on the plaza and play their drums, pass a joint around and trip on LSD, and then it's back to Kentucky for Christmas (and a shock to the family as they see how far their son has fallen).
So, to all you hippies, welcome! Enjoy our pot. Sleep with our hippie women residents (no self-respecting citizen wants them anyway). Get a job in an organic cafe. Play your wooden instruments around town.