Sleepless In Humboldt County

A half hour ago I was dead tired. In fact, I was sleeping. A commercial playing on the television woke me up. My mind started racing. It's been a shit week.

My daughter went on vacation for a few days. My credit card got stolen by someone who is bound to be very sorry at some point. ("What's this? Your testicle? Shit, I ripped that right out. You'd think they'd be attached better. Never mind. Open up. Yes, your mouth! Did you suddenly develop a hearing problem? Did I speak French? No, so open up. Wider. Wider. Like you're about to suck your daddy's cock. There you go. That's wide enough. I'm gonna rest this piece of your body on your lower teeth. You're gonna bite down, but don't your burst that puppy yet. I swear to fucking Christ if you shake your head 'no' one more time I will slice your lip off and force you to eat that, too. There you go. Good boy. Keep it between your teeth until I say different. Lick it. That's right. Lick it. What's it taste like? That's you! You're tasting you! I bet you always wanted to suck your own dick. Maybe you even tried it. This ain't your cock, but it's close enough. Want me to get your cock? No, I'm kidding. You should've seen your face, though. Wish I had a camera.") I had to deal with cops. More rumors at work. Feeling like I want to be away from people for a while.

If I seem off to you, don't worry. I probably am. I want to remove myself from society because I don't get you people anymore. I'm surprised more gyms don't get shot up.

Take me away.


Nikki said...

You are creepy when you're tired!

-Doug Brunell "America's Favorite Son" said...

I like to stare at people when they sleep. If you do it long enough, they start to get the feeling you are there ... at the edge of the bed. You can lean in real close, but not so close that when they roll over they pump into you. Anyway, when they start to stir, you just lean in closer so that your face is over their's and you breathe out so they feel it. There is a slight pause where they don't move because they sense something is wrong, but don't know what yet. (Hell, they aren't even totally awake.) But then they get it and the screaming starts.

Good times.

Nikki said...

Um, so, do you have any decent hotels near you? LOL.