It's about 1:30. Been up since before five a.m., but I can't sleep. My mind is racing. How can I get to PA? How can I move a family out here? I need a television. Can't beat Kinetica. Space Invaders Extreme is addictive. Work is killing me slowly and with intent. I don't understand the concept of "classic beauty." Hippies bug me. I hate when females pretend to be dumb in order to catch a guy's attention.
Yeah, my mind goes off on tangents sometimes.
Most of my problems stem from money ... or lack of it. Most of my friends' problems come from that same poisoned well. I'm lucky in the fact that I have a job. I know and appreciate that, but at what price? It provides me with money, which I need to keep a roof over my head, but my soul is slowly being burned out of me. With each passing day, incompetence, and co-workers with no work ethic threaten to overcome me. I'd rather be writing all day and living off my talent. Instead, I sit in front of a computer screen, enter data, and answer co-workers' questions (and I don't mind doing that). Didn't Devo ask how long this could go on?
To survive I do little things. Subversion. I humor myself. Anyone who knows me knows how that goes. It's how I get by when I'm not tying a noose.
I don't feel like I can complain. There is a lot of good in my life. Not everything. But a lot. I can feel good that I'm not that musclehead in the Verizon commerical or that my stool has no blood in it. I can't rest easy knowing I don't watch YouTube religiously, and I have no desire to get U2's latest. It's the little things.
Later on today I'm going to the tattoo shop to see JLo ink my supervisor. It's her first. It may or may not be her last. If you have a tattoo you know how that goes. One is never enough. That's another thing I need money for. Number 16. Black Flag bars. "Who needs love when you have a gun?" That was going to be my first tattoo. It won't be my last.
I am watching a commercial for The Night Exchange. Some 800 number you call to talk to real people. The lady on the phone in the commercial looked liked she was two seconds away from masturbating. Odd.
AT and T sent me my final bill today along with a statement that my latest bill, which is due on 3/20/09, is late. Today is 3/13/09. Apparently AT & T is as good as reading the calendar as it is in understanding its long distance plans. I plan on doing all kinds of shit to AT & T. Steal from its trucks. Vandalism. Happy trails to you.