I Found Love at the Business End of a Gun (aka MTV Get Off the Air!)

I had about three people today ask me if I saw the MTV Video Music Awards that recently aired.  I thought it happened last week, but nobody mentioned it to me then, so I could be wrong.  Regardless, I did not watch it.  Did not know it was on, and wouldn't have watched had I known.

MTV lost any kind of relevance it had (which wasn't much to begin with) back when The Real World first aired.  The music I liked wasn't really represented on it, and for the longest time it wouldn't play videos from black artists because they were too "fringe."  The last band I "discovered" on there was Faith No More, and quite honestly I find it ironic that the channel is now more known for video music awards than it is for playing videos.  Does it even play videos anymore?

Like anyone who grew up with MTV, I do have good memories associated with it.  A lot of the female friends I liked enjoyed the channel.  I used to have some wonderful teenage sex to 120 Minutes and Headbangers Ball.  In fact, I remember one particular night with a female who gave me a bj on my friend's bed.  We were surrounded by stolen guns as Iron Maiden sang "Run to the Hills"  (I think that was the song; I was preoccupied).  Good times.

Eventually, MTV stopped playing videos and branched out into other crap.  Not that the channel was cutting edge to begin with (unless you led a sheltered life), but now it was even less so.  Sure, it had lost its fear of black artists (thanks to CBS Records and its threat to withhold music), but Yo! MTV Raps really just promoted stereotypes.

In other words, MTV was as big a mess as mainstream radio, only people didn't really see it because they were way too enamored with it to see past its VJ's big hair and satin jackets. 

I can't remember the last time I watched the channel.  It can't even say what the last thing was that I watched on it.  It sure as hell wasn't a video awards show on a channel that doesn't play videos.  Some may call that cleverly ironic.  I call it typical bait-and-switch capitalism.  I don't care to see Kayne West being a boor, and I sure as hell don't care about what the channel considers to be music.  Maybe if someone pulled a GG Allin on the audience it would be worth it, until that day, however, I'll retain my memories of a bed littered with rifles and shotguns and a girl who stopped briefly enough to say, "This is my favorite Maiden song."

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