The Crisis of Dwindling Returns (aka A Sidebar of Crazy)
I've been focused (laser-like, if it must be known) and what I want out of my life so much so that I have been less inclined to take on the burdens of the world (something I've been accused of doing far too much in the past). It has been a mixed bag, so far, but when it comes to things like work and life it has been transformational. With this focus comes clarity. With this clarity comes plans. When I told Mirror I was slowly isolating myself from the majority of the world, but had yet to figured out a thorough way to do it, many ideas had come to mind. I, of course, won't isolate myself from my true friends.
I am weeding out the stress killers. I am negating the insanity. I am taking every step with a clear goal in mind. It is almost a Biblical moment.
For too long I have listened to others. I have heard there words and often taken them to heart. I have let that influence me in ways that are as profound as they are disturbing. I realize that much of what was my unhappiness stemmed from listening to others give their two cents on what they thought I should be doing. And not that I always believed them (rarely was that the case), but the fact that I even gave took in the words instead of just stopping them before they reached the door so to speak had an effect on me.
No more. And that is beautiful.
I wake up. Put on the music. Shower. Write. Serve my time. Write some more. Every step an inch closer to what I want. A time line. A path. Not to be deterred. Not to be sidetracked. Not to be made to feel alien in my ways. I have spent a year listening to people tell me their thoughts on me that it was starting to get very easy to lose myself to that.
Now I just don't care. It is not a callous thing. It is not an attack on anyone or anything. It is just my way of saying, "Trespassers beware."
I love new journeys into lands unknown.