An Arkansas woman was kicked out of a courtroom recently for breastfeeding her baby.  I've been through Arkansas.  Trust me when I say this makes total sense.

If you are an Arkansas resident, the public display of breastfeeding is nothing but offense, right up there with having sex in public, or (God forbid) menstruating.  When the court's officer asked her to leave, he was doing his job and enforcing the decency standards that Arkansas residents depend upon to keep them safe from things like nipples and The Simpsons.

Arkansas, being a hotbed of progressive thinking, also bars atheists from holding any offices in its civil departments or being a witness in court.  (One can imagine it wasn't an atheist who complained since, by law, they really had no business being in the courtroom.)

So here's to the state of Arkansas!  Thanks for keeping your courtrooms safe from things like suckling children and atheists testifying in court.  If you let these into your hallowed halls the next thing you know you'll have to allow college graduates and "colored folk" in.  Next thing you know you'll look like California!  (Granted, in 2008 California's Gross Domestic Product numbers ranked it number one and Arkansas was a respectable 34 [that's out of 50 states in case you wonderful Arkansas judges were still relying on colonial maps].)  That shouldn't worry you fine people, though.  You just continue protecting your citizens the best way you see fit.  It seems to be working well so far.

1 comment:

Jennifer Blue said...

Do you think we could convince Arkansas to require a life long sex offender registry for these disgusting women? As far as I can see, what would the argument be? My baby could die without food? We got them on that one. Hell, pissing off a pier is registerable so obviously we could apply that that law to get what we want when we want it! What kinda chance are those god damn feminists gonna have?