20.1.10

My Spirit Guide

Yesterday, after having a bad day and getting some bad news I just played GG Allin's "Carmelita" over and over on my MP3 player. Sometimes it takes every ounce of self control I have to get through the day without totally going off on someone.

I'm hoping today will be better. I have my sincere doubts. I think today will be a lot more of the same.

At least we're in the middle of a huge series of storms. I like that. I like the rain and wind having its way with the land. I like the feeling that things can happen at any moment. I like the isolation it brings.

I don't believe much in things like "seasonal disorders." I rank it right up there with "social anxiety" (hey, you used to be shy) and the use of Ritalin to control ADD kids (hey, you used to hyperactive). I think people have gotten so out of touch with themselves and their emotions that every little thing that causes a reaction is now some kind of disorder or disease.

The wind and the rain prove that those things don't matter. They show that nature is bigger than us, and I like that.

I'm going into today with a positive attitude. I will lay my head down tonight exhausted and drained. I will pray for the day I don't have to deal with anyone I don't want to deal with. I will pray long and hard on that.

And until then, there's GG.

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