4.5.09

Achtung




I love Chrisitan's art. Simply incredible, and this one sums up my feelings pretty damn well. Bad dreams and lack of sleep have me feeling pretty paranoid these days. I worry I'll never see my little girl again, and if that were the case I'd have to end this life. What would be the point (and I'm sure the ex feels the same way.) Of course, my fears are unfounded as I don't truly believe her mother would do that to her because my daughter loves me dearly and that would ruin her.

Yet I still get paranoid.

Maybe it's because of things people have said to me. Maybe it's just insecurities. I don't know. I would hope no judge would do that as I believe I am a very competent, loving father. I don't worry about not having the resources to fight it because they have been made available from several people. I don't truly worry about this, but I do.

That's apparently not uncommon.

I love my little girl more than life. I have the best time of my life when she is with me. And when I see her sleeping I know all is right in my world.

The rain is coming. Appropriate. Let it come down. I've always liked it. It cleanses. Washes away the filth.

Yeah, let it rain.

2 comments:

elistia said...

"Washes away the filth," eh? Are you gonna go all Travis Bickle? I think he uses the word scum in the movie though. If you're gonna go Bickle, try to hold off until after Amigas...

-Doug Brunell "America's Favorite Son" said...

You talkin' to me? I am not going to do anything. I just keep hoping some of my wishes would come true.