Hookers Want My Money

A recent sting in Eureka, CA that targeted prostitutes has done nothing to stop the world's oldest professions.  (You know what they say: As long as you have politicians you'll have hookers.)  Today, while driving by the library I saw the usual gaggle of streetwalkers trying to make eye contact.  Most looked like they had the stink of the street about them, and were thus only appealing to less discriminating seniors with their monthly check burning a hole in their pockets.

As I had to stop, in the middle of the street no less, while a man on a bike stopped to talk to the man in the car in front of me, one such lady waved at me from the sidewalk.  Stupidly, I looked.  She took this as an invite to make her way over to the car.
  
Before I could get a word out, this woman, whose low cut top revealed the gentle swell of her bruised breasts, said, "Are you looking for company?"

"No, but thanks."  I was polite.  She's trying to work.  I understand that.  She's got to hustle that ass so she can put food on the table.  Who am I to judge?

"Yah sure?"  Her lack of teeth and personal hygiene made sure I was sure. 

"I am."

"Can I get a ride?"

If I put her in the car, I would have to delouse the thing.  Of this, I am sure.  I have passengers sometimes.  All I need is a lice breakout.

The car in front of me pulled away, but she still had her hands on the roof of mine.  Damn her.

"I am sure."

She looked at me as if I had no idea what I was missing out on (I'm sure she was right) and sauntered back to the curb.  She looked about forty-five, which meant she was probably twenty-nine.  I give her credit for being bold, too, as I'm sure I looked pissed.

As I drove away, I saw a truck slow down, and she went right to the passenger side door and climbed on in.  Just like that.  Services offered.  Denied.  Services offered.  Accepted.  I could only imagine how many new male members she would have the pleasure of meeting that night.  How many is too many for a single night?  Five?  Ten?  Two?  Twenty?  Would anyone ask for anything strange?  (This is Humboldt, after all.)  Would she get beat up?  Robbed?  Raped?  The usual pitfalls that come with the job.  Would she be asked to put on a special costume or fist some guy whose wife "just don't understand"?  Would she go to be regretting the lifestyle, or counting the cash? 

I'm sure she was a nice enough person, and it is quite possible her oral skills would be unsurpassed and I just blew (no pun intended) the chance of a lifetime.  I somehow doubt it, though.  The lack of teeth may have been a selling point for some guys, but me, I'm kind of old-fashioned when it comes to that sort of thing. 

Limbs, however, are a whole other story.

Eureka Body Count

I saw her and couldn't help put think, "Statistic." She was young. I'm not good with age, but I put her at 16. Meth and who-knows-what abuse had been unkind to her face. She had those lovely sores that you see meth addicts get. She was dressed as to be expected for someone selling sex. Her body was unsteady on the high heels that didn't fit her feet quite right.

Statistic.

She looked at me when I drove by. Searching eyes. Pleading eyes. A twenty and I take your stress away. Fifty and you can use the car lighter on my nipples. That's what I pictured her terms to be.

She was a prostitute in Eureka, and I pictured she'd soon be dead.

Sometimes hookers end up dead here. This one looked just inexperienced enough to make one of those beginner mistakes where everything begins all smiles and ends with hands around her throat. I wanted to pull over and give her some money just to get the hell off the streets, but I could picture having a cop pull up at just that moment. It wasn't worth it.

I've watched the news. Waiting to see if a body has been dragged out of the woods or found by someone walking their dog on the dunes. There would be no reports of her missing. KIEM, our NBC affiliate, doesn't report on missing street walking panthers. It reports on arrested ones, dead ones.

I don't travel on the street I saw her on much. One more time since then. I didn't see her, though, but I didn't expect to. My hope is that she got in some guy's pick-up truck, gave her rates, saw the tip of a knife under his seat and got scared and took off. Now, with the aid of family and her previous school, she is in rehab and getting the help she needs to get the crap out of her system. That's my hope. The reality is quite different. If she's lucky, she's still turning tricks and stocking up on free condoms when she can. The reality of it, though, is probably far more sinister.

Statistic.

Police Pick Up Hookers in Eureka

Because there are no more serious crimes to pursue ...

Police did a bust outside the Eureka branch of the Humboldt County Library, an area notorious for prostitutes. Something like four of the little ladies were arrested after the police say they received numerous complaints, which they probably did. Imagine, if prostitution were legal in Eureka, and brothels were re-established (Old Town used to be a hot bed of hot beds), we would have all kinds of tourist dollars, and the the hooking would leave the streets.

I've never been to a prostitute, though I've been lucky enough to talk to a few. They tend to be nice women with good stories to tell. They are trying to make a buck (often times to support a drug habit), and they have a very dangerous job, but that doesn't stop them from doing it. And lest you think it's a pleasant job, would you like to be paid $20 to suck your penis? I think not. So don't knock them until you've taken several dozen strange penises in your vagina, okay?

With this story making the top five minutes of KIEM's news, I thought I would mention it, as it falls in line with my last post and the decriminalization of things like drugs and prostitution. Granted, in front of the library isn't the best place, but it's closed most of the time and is away from restaurants, so at least they thought it out somewhat. When the police flat out state they did this to send a message and make the hookers more cautious and less bold, it actually starts to sound like the police realize that its a problem no amount of arrests will make go away.

Why keep tossing money at it? Couldn't everyone's time be better spent, too? And if the police were really serious about stopping prostitution (which they don't seem to be), why not go after the johns instead of the hookers? This sting operation reeked of by the book annoyance. How bold. How daring. What next? Jaywalkers? School yard bullies? People who tear the tags off furniture?

I feel for the people who don't like prostitutes in their neighborhood. I wasn't always fond of it. You can get rid of them without involving the police, however. Just start taking pictures and video footage. Works every time.

Since Eureka won't take the innovative step of decriminalizing prostitution, I'll personally extend a invitation to those outside of our city limits. If you are thinking of traveling to Northern California why don't you stop on by and experience one or two of "ladies of ill repute." The police rarely bust prostitutes, and it's even rarer that they go after johns. You can usually find hookers working outside the library on 2nd Street, but they also can be found throughout Old Town after business hours. They typically have on jeans or sweats (and for some strange reason either denim or black jackets), and walk slow. When they hear your car, they will look back or to the side and try to make eye contact with you. If you indicate you are interested, they will come up to the car and tell you they need a ride. What you do after that is up to you, but I hope you drop some dough here, as Humboldt really needs it.

And while you're at it, why not pick up a bag of weed, too? You can smoke it in your hotel room and say things like, "Look at me! I'm the governor of California!"