Hookers Want My Money

A recent sting in Eureka, CA that targeted prostitutes has done nothing to stop the world's oldest professions.  (You know what they say: As long as you have politicians you'll have hookers.)  Today, while driving by the library I saw the usual gaggle of streetwalkers trying to make eye contact.  Most looked like they had the stink of the street about them, and were thus only appealing to less discriminating seniors with their monthly check burning a hole in their pockets.

As I had to stop, in the middle of the street no less, while a man on a bike stopped to talk to the man in the car in front of me, one such lady waved at me from the sidewalk.  Stupidly, I looked.  She took this as an invite to make her way over to the car.
Before I could get a word out, this woman, whose low cut top revealed the gentle swell of her bruised breasts, said, "Are you looking for company?"

"No, but thanks."  I was polite.  She's trying to work.  I understand that.  She's got to hustle that ass so she can put food on the table.  Who am I to judge?

"Yah sure?"  Her lack of teeth and personal hygiene made sure I was sure. 

"I am."

"Can I get a ride?"

If I put her in the car, I would have to delouse the thing.  Of this, I am sure.  I have passengers sometimes.  All I need is a lice breakout.

The car in front of me pulled away, but she still had her hands on the roof of mine.  Damn her.

"I am sure."

She looked at me as if I had no idea what I was missing out on (I'm sure she was right) and sauntered back to the curb.  She looked about forty-five, which meant she was probably twenty-nine.  I give her credit for being bold, too, as I'm sure I looked pissed.

As I drove away, I saw a truck slow down, and she went right to the passenger side door and climbed on in.  Just like that.  Services offered.  Denied.  Services offered.  Accepted.  I could only imagine how many new male members she would have the pleasure of meeting that night.  How many is too many for a single night?  Five?  Ten?  Two?  Twenty?  Would anyone ask for anything strange?  (This is Humboldt, after all.)  Would she get beat up?  Robbed?  Raped?  The usual pitfalls that come with the job.  Would she be asked to put on a special costume or fist some guy whose wife "just don't understand"?  Would she go to be regretting the lifestyle, or counting the cash? 

I'm sure she was a nice enough person, and it is quite possible her oral skills would be unsurpassed and I just blew (no pun intended) the chance of a lifetime.  I somehow doubt it, though.  The lack of teeth may have been a selling point for some guys, but me, I'm kind of old-fashioned when it comes to that sort of thing. 

Limbs, however, are a whole other story.

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