Death And Taxes

They are the only two certain things, right? Death and taxes. What about hurdles that life tends to put in your way to keep you from obtaining your goals? I think that's a certainty, too. You know, you're on your way to see your boyfriend. It's late. You want to surprise him by showing up unexpected and giving him a hot romp to send him off to dreamland with a smile on his face. You slip the car key into the door and feel your back turn to fire. The knife blade goes deep, just right of the spine. Then it starts to slice around your side.

Or you find yourself with a need to make your life better. You know what you want. You know what you need to do to get it. Then, as you drive to work where you're making the money to make your life better, a car hits you head on. You got your seatbelt on, but that engine comes through the dash anyway. Now you got to think about the hot mess that was your legs and how you will ever walk again.

I don't put too much fate in things like fate, and I don't believe in God. I also don't believe there are reasons people get fucked with. I don't think karma exists. If it did, wouldn't Susan Smith have died soon after it came out that she killed her own kids? I do believe, however, that life is this great, whirling mass that eats its young. Some choose to be oblivious (and you can't blame them), and some try to change it (knowing the futility). Some just go for the ride.

I don't like thinking of this at all.

To me, life has all the subtlety of a spastic rapist armed with a straight razor and three days worth of meth racing through his system. It seems like every time something good starts to happen, this attacker pops with a hard-on and a desire to make me hurt.

My friends are going through hard times. The people I love are falling apart. I can't find a reason for all this other than, "That's life." I'm getting tired of saying that, but what can you say when it all starts going the way of the dinosaur?

We're all getting older. We all have more to lose. We all care too much. We all wish it were better. We all wish the shit would end.

And someday it will.

And then what?