When They Break You

There's a lot of people that like nothing more than to make you feel small. They like to grind you down, mess you up, belittle you, drag you through the mud, torture you -- and all for the ever so slight, ever so fake feeling of superiority. Too many people, though, let them. Especially if it's someone they respect.

A friend of mine went through that today. Was made to feel all of two inches high as a giant boot came down. Hearing about it made me angry. Hearing the words "but I respected him" made me hate.

When you have people's respect you have to watch your words carefully. You have to watch how you phrase things. Respect is not easy to earn, and some ill-thought sentences can blow it for good. You don't have to censor yourself, but you have to think. If someone respects you, there's a reason for it. There is something there they see. This is a world where respect is as rare as honor and truth. Why blow that for a ten second feeling of superiority? Why jeopardize all of that with petty insults when you can cure the problem with a straight line of discussion that keeps your respect intact?

Maybe because your respect was never really worth it in the first place.

I dole out my respect based on many different factors. One of those is respect for yourself. I can't respect you if you can't respect yourself. When you belittle people to feel like a god, that's when I throw my respect away.

Honestly, I'm good at making people feel like they are shit. It's one thing I do quite well. I can cut deep and hard. I don't do it for the reasons I've outlined. It looks, however, like I might have to start.

Games

I've got about a minute before I go to work, but I need to get something off my chest.

I've never felt that adults are good at acting like adults. I'm just as guilty, too, but I try. We are petty,spiteful beings who like nothing more than exerting power over those who we think will let us. We like to play games and then act innocent.

But what happens when you start fucking with the wrong people?

There's a great line in "The Devil's Rejects," a movie I recommend highly. The sheriff has just caught three of the killers and has them attached to chairs. The dynamic has changed. The killers are now victims, and the sheriff admits his familial history of vigilantism. He tells these madmen that they are now playing on a higher level that most people never get to see. You people who have never seen that level should be thankful. It goes beyond the normal reindeer games that people who are little more than window dressing play. It turned nasty. Those who saw the movie remember the scene. I know they do.

The problems of games can be solved very easily. Don't play them. Don't screw around. Don't be passive aggressive. Say what you mean, do what you say. Treat people with the respect you wish were given to you. Do that and you get it back. I don't play games with people. Not much anyway. Not about important things. Do people do it to me? No. Why? Because when they do, I take it to the next level.

A friend of mine once said he had no doubt I would do myself great harm in order to get at someone else. It's true. I don't respect games. I don't respect lying. I don't respect people acting all too human.

When you wake up in the morning you always have to ask yourself, "Where do I stand?"

That's the question, isn't it?