Knockin' On Heaven's Door

I should be formatting my cannibal manuscript, but that has driven me to the wall on a day where the wall is the only thing I've been up against. Tempted to play some Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2. The news is on, though, and there is talk of the California budget. So, while I wait for that to come on and dazzle me with misery, I thought it would be fun to share.

Work has not been good the past week or so. Sometimes you are right about things you wish you were wrong about because being right means your trust has been abused.

My daughter has been sick. I always get worried about that as she was stuck in the hospital upon birth and that has always stuck with me. Besides being sick, doctors won't see her. It makes for a lovely combo.

With that in mind, my nerves were at wit's end today. I wrote a murder confession, stating it would be justified. Signed and dated it. I didn't want to deal with any more incompetence and figured the next person that came by my desk with anything but pristine work would leave with my scissors stuck three inches deep in their neck.

Yeah, like anyone would be surprised.

Alas, I did not stab, hit, pummel or shoot. But I did get an earful from some people. One person who stands out is a good friend who made a great assessment of me. In her eyes, I am manipulative and a wreck. I don't hide the wreckage well, but she can't be entirely sure when/if I am working said manipulation.

Guilty as charged, ma'am, but I am nothing but honest about it. That may make me a bad guy. That may make me an asshole. But, again, I'm honest about it. Not many people can say the same thing. I only seem like a dick, however, because most people don't deal in honesty. It is a foreign currency that has no value to them because they aren't traveling in that country.

I was also told that people confide things to me that they would never tell anyone else, and that can be the cause of worry. (On a related note, another friend said that, too, but added to it that it makes me dangerous. I suppose it does, but I would never use that information.) I know things, so when I get worried or upset there might be cause for alarm.

I guess I just don't dig the stealth mode people tend to operate under. Such is life, though. I just think that you got one chance to make a go of it, so why not call them like you see them? Anything else is just weak.

Time to format.