Trying to reformat the cannibal manuscript was an exercise in self-control. Tried it. Tried it again. Gave up. Got cozy with the PS2. Phone rings. Not odd, per se, but it was 12:30. With my daughter sick, I rushed to grab it. The number came up as "Private."
It was a female. Most of my friends are female, so this was not odd. Calls from them at 12:30 are ... usually.
This female was drunk. My female friends are not the kind to call me drunk ... most of them.
Drunk female: Are you coming to get me?
Me: No. [Keep in mind I have no idea who this is.]
Drunk female: Why not?
Me: Why should I?
Drunk female: You said you would. [This comes out sounding like, "Yous said yous would."
Me: I lied.
Drunk female: Why would you lie?
Me: Because you bore me and I'm fairly sure you may be suffering from some sort of brain damage.
I hung up as she started to curse. I imagine I ruined some guy's night, as she did not sound anywhere close to the realm of happy. Oh well. Should have dialed better. You never know when you'll get someone who just wants to amuse himself.
My throat is on fire! One of the women I work with thinks we all got "throat herpes." I'm not sure where this idea came from, and quite frankly the visual is a bit much, but I am starting to see why she would think this. I can kind of imagine throat herpes feeling like this. Truly horrible.
I'm glad this day is done. I can only wonder what new joys tomorrow will be.
Ever see those bumper stickers? The ones that say, "Blessed Be"? I hate those stickers. They annoy me as much as the people who haven't taken off their Palin endorsements. Guess what? If you voted for Palin, you deserve throat herpes.
Tomorrow will be better ... because it can't be any worse.
2 comments:
You have some sort of aversion to everything I've recommended for a sore throat, so I'm out of ideas. Try eating lots of garlic. When my brother had strep once, I gave him a rinse made with hot water, vinegar, horseradish and lemon juice. He said it worked a little, but it was horrible tasting. I wonder if some sort of garlic solution to gargle with would work?
Throat herpes?
An old Native tradition that's been passed down through the ages: go out into the woods, with someone in tow, have them tie you to a sturdy tree. Have them come back in 3 days time.
Cured.
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