On the Road to Arcata ...
"Show Me Your Tits."
Several inches high, as bold as its statement. This driver, who was male, was encouraging other drivers (I'm assuming females, but he may like hefty guys for all I know) to expose those objects of many a man's affection. It was crazy enough to work, I'm sure. Much like the "Girls Gone Wild" franchise works. Much like telling a woman exactly what she wants to hear. I'm sure this has gotten this desperate driver more than one or two nipples. It would be kind of cool if one woman decided to show him a little more.
She's a passenger. Her girlfriend (not lesbians, but they've been known to make out with a little wine in them) is driving. Her window is down. The air feels good. It's the beginning of summer. They are on their way to Oregon. They are in the left lane. "Show Me Your Tits" pulls up and past.
"You see that?" her girlfriend asks. "What the fuck?"
She laughs. "Pull up next to him."
"Seriously? You can't be -"
"Come on. A quick flash. What can it hurt? He'll probably love it and go off the road or something."
"Yeah, when he starts jerking off." But she pulls up next to him anyway. Now they are both speeding.
She lifts her shirt and bra. The driver's got a big smile. He likes these. If he ever got the chance to describe them to his friends he'd say "heft with just enough perk to make your mouth water." He'll never get that chance, though. That smile becomes a look of unpleasant surprise as he sees the handgun come up and the shirt come down. Next thing he knows, his lower jaw is in chunks across his dash. A large portion of his tongue explodes in a red mist, and the bullet sinks itself into the passenger door. The force of the shot causes him to jerk the wheel and go off the shoulder.
"Hope you liked them!"
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