Something Wicked This Way Came

Heading to the post office at lunch. Already on edge because it's been one of those days (and for those of you who had to deal with my insane probing questions -- I appy-polly-loggy). I'm stopped at the corner of 3 and C when they come shambling out across the street heading toward the alley that runs behind Lufkin's.

Four of them. Large. Like small dogs. Shambling. Not quite right.

Raccoons.

Seeing this put me in a strange mood. Raccoons are nocturnal. This was a little after noon. These beings most likely had rabies and the way they were walking kind of confirmed that. It felt very end of the world like, and I knew that if they crossed in front of my car I would run them over. I would destroy these crimes against nature. Not because I'm cruel, but because I'm kind.

I made a super hot breakfast burrito for dinner tonight. Eggs. Cheese. Jalapenos. After Death Sauce. After Death contains red habanero pods, cayenne, spices and pure pepper resin. It's not the hottest sauce I own, but it is up there. It does burn. It does hurt. Couple it with jalapenos and it's a wonder I didn't need to go to the hospital.

As I've been told today by several different witnesses (can I get another?): I don't do anything part way, half way, half-assed or with any subtlety. I don't burn matches. I burn forests.

That seems about right.

Friend and co-worker, DJ, suggested a pizza run is due. I could not agree more. She's isolating herself. I commented on her blog my thoughts on the whole issue. I can see it. Isolation isn't bad. A pizza run won't solve that, but we'll be cellmates for a while. We will bounce ideas. And it will be like talking in the mirror ... only you don't have to worry when the mirror answers back this time.

Back to the raccoons.

I should not have been so freaked out by seeing these sick animals shuffle across the street. It felt wrong, though. Felt out of place. Fell like a break down of the status quo ... and not in a liberating way.

Arcata has had its problems with rabid foxes as of later. Eventually that would cross over. I wanted to stop it.

I never got to feel that satisfying crunch of bone beneath my wheels. But had they crossed in front of me, I would have. I would have and never looked back.

Sometimes animals are a lot like ideas. They need to be killed before they get out there and cause a real problem.