Montcalm Moments

Years ago I sent off a query to Gallery magazine.  (It could have been Fox, but I doubt it based on the piece I was trying to sell.)  I was trying to place an interview I did with Yellow Machinegun, a Japanese female metal band.  In my letter I highlighted some of the magazines I had been published in, including my extensive work with Tattoo Savage. 

The piece wasn't picked up.  I got the generic rejection letter that every writer has seen at one time or another.  The person who rejected it, however, decided to write a personal note on it.  This cock knock, whose initials are JF (he could be dead for all I know) took it upon himself to scrawl, "I hate tattoos, and not that into Shonen Knife rip offs or whatever the fuck their problems are.  Tattoo removal story might be good if it were about some stupid asshole who got themself [sic] all inked up and then tried to remove that shit from their body -- unsuccessfully -- and then killed themself [sic] by immolation.  Thanks, JF"

This, I should remind you, was an editor. 

I'm not complaining.  The guy was obviously in a shit mood, and I ended up placing the piece in Japanophile, which was a far classier magazine and paid nicely.

I just happened to come across this letter the other day while clearing out the desk.  It made me wonder what happened to JF.  It also made me wonder what the hell he had against tattoos.  Maybe he got drunk at one time and got one of those shitty ones drunks often sport.  Maybe some tattooed girl broke his heart, or maybe a tattoo guy fondled him in a bathroom somewhere.  I'll never know.