Just Keep Lying

It's okay to lie to others. We were all taught it was wrong, but we all do it. They may be little lies, they may be lies to keep a tradition going, or they may be lies to cover your ass or get you laid. They are lies nonetheless. Lying to others, though, makes it all that much easier to lie to ourselves.

Lying to yourself leads to problems. You can't function properly when you don't even know what you are. You can't know what you feel when you lie to yourself in order to make yourself feel all right. Honesty, especially when it comes to introspection, is a good thing ... a necessary thing.

If I told people half of the things I thought about them, I would be unable to get through the day. Instead, I keep my mouth shut most of the time. Honesty with others leads to all sorts of problems. Feelings get hurt because when it comes to honesty even a fifty-year-old can get like a four-year-old. Friendships are ruined. Love is destroyed. But what happens when you no longer start to care and decide to start being open even if it means pain and hatred?

That is far trickier.

I'd love to be totally honest with people. Call them weak when I think they are acting weak. Tell them that they are destroying themselves. I have that relationship with some friends, but I think most people overall are far too fragile for that sort of frankness, and quite honestly if someone starts whining and complaining about something I said the issue suddenly becomes that instead of the real meat.

As a society, we have allowed ourselves to become weak, irresponsible, and self-centered. This is a dangerous combination. This leads to people thinking they are all kinds of things they aren't, all while lacking the basic skills to defend themselves. It's starting to make me sick.

I used to enjoy American Idol. I liked watching some person go on camera and say what hot shit they were. They'd tell viewers that they were going to Hollywood and that the judges would be blown away. Then they get in front of the judges and it is so painfully obvious that these people have no talent for singing. They would, most times, be dressed down by the judges -- rightly so. They provided great entertainment, but wasted everyone's time. The contestant, the one who had been lying to his or herself about his talent, would usually become indignant. They would become belligerent and unable to do anything but spout obscenities and give the camera the finger. They would say the judges (who are professionals in different capacities in the music industry) have no idea what they are talking about. It was pitiful and it proved my point. Those who lie to themselves don't know how to handle truth when it is thrown at them, and they can't even defend themselves.

I don't watch the show anymore. Not that I wouldn't enjoy watching the clueless get their heads served to them. I just don't have the free time.

I can't wait to wash my hands of all of this. I'm getting to that point. People around me can feel it. It has been commented on. I cannot wait to be free of the luggage that is humanity. I will isolate myself, only venturing into their world when absolutely necessary ... and I think I'll remove all my filters so that those who can't handle what I have to say are totally driven away.

The day can't come soon enough.